Friday, December 25, 2009

The Merry Old Cyborg

Balthazar, 101, reached out with his less stiff hand and closed it around a cookie. As he brought it closer to his face he realised it was a stocking and not a malformed gingerbread man. Not that it mattered, it had been months since Balthazar could taste anything.
The doctors called it as Ageusia, Balthazar called it as Life, another item checked off on the long list of items one loses with age. Most of these items could be replaced or assisted; his teeth had been replaced by imitations, his eyes assisted by glasses, his memory by photographs.
Taste however...
Balthazar bit into the cookie and concentrated on the way it broke down and crumbled like a little civilisation swiftly eroded away by the elements of his mouth. He figured it was just as well he couldn't taste anything, he heard nothing but complaints from other "guests" about the food anyway.
His health assisted by pills, his movement by a cane, and his dwelling replaced by an assisted living center.
Balthazar was then struck by the thought of himself as a creature from a science fiction film.
The thought amused him. He pictured himself as a cyborg trapped on an alien planet.
These thoughts were suddenly interrupted by a needlessly loud knock at his door.
Balthazar’s eyebrows lowered in confusion over his sunken eyes like two large furry dragons descending in unison upon identical watery caverns.
The knocking persisted until Balthazar made eye contact with a pair of inquisitive eyes that gave away this girl being full of mischief.
Her name was Ivy, 11, the child of his old neighbors who he secretly gave knife throwing lessons to.
Her presence gave Balthazar an idea.
Quietly, Ivy and Balthazar made their way to the kitchen, all the while Balthazar's imagination narrated the adventure with thoughts of his cyborg navigating the treacherous alien planet with the help of a clever mutant.
In the kitchen they searched for knives.
Balthazar reached out with his less stiff hand and selected one he found suitable for throwing.
He lifted the knife parallel with his glasses and searched for something to throw at.
Ivy helpfully offered a stack of Christmas cards.
Balthazar pictured the cyborg again. Despite having lost most of its original parts, it still managed to retain a skill buried deep in its mind.

Sunday, December 20, 2009

Help!

Imagine walking somewhere. The weather is generally acceptable and you're not in a hurry to get there, so your stride slowly changes into something more of a saunter.
Suddenly something across the street catches your attention.
It's a person.
For a moment the two of you make eye contact.
They appear to be in your age range, possibly younger but not by much. Despite showing no clear signs of illness or peril, you are somehow able to tell this person is in some sort of danger.
However, with no clear-cut indication as to whether or not this person needs your help you continue on to your destination.
The next day, after consulting your daily news source, you learn that the person you passed by the previous night was found dead less than half a kilometer from where you spotted them.
Details on the cause of death have been withheld.

Would you tell anybody that you saw this person the same night they died?
If you did, would you tell them about your sensing danger?

Sunday, December 6, 2009

Dinner and a Movie

Dinner of Darkness
The Amazing Dinner Adventure
Scenes from a Dinner
Take the Dinner and Run
The Most Dangerous Dinner
A Fistful of Dinner
The 40 Year Old Dinner
What About Dinner?
Dinner Begins
Rosencrantz & Gildenstern are Dinner
The Seventh Dinner
No Dinner for Old Men

Wednesday, December 2, 2009

Par for the Course



A short film I worked on with my intern for my friend Tom Lutz, the Pastor of the local Lutheran Church.

Tuesday, November 24, 2009

Anti-Social Networking Ideas

A while ago I made a satirical entry about a fictional website called getawayfromme.com

Today I was made aware that similar anti-social networking sites exist, arsebook and farcebook These sites aren't nearly as innovative as getawayfromme.com, which is disappointing. Basically, all they did was paint the old idea a different color, "Instead of your friends, it'll be your enemies!"

Uh huh.

Discovering another one of my predictions about the Internet, culture, and art exists is affirming but not surprising. Humans have only a limited number of reactions, therefore the idea of an anti-social networking site was inevitable.

Where do you suppose all the other inversions of websites are. Where's the upturned Twitter where you can type all the words you want (er... I think that's called a blog), or how about a variant of Google that changes your search into an anagram of what you typed and searches that instead.

"Above all, it's creative thinking that lies at the basis of discoveries. You must dare to think differently, see things from different sides, in order to come across fortuitous new ideas frequently. You should develop even the most stupid ideas and when you do this systematically, there will always come something useful out of it." -Simon van der Meer

Sunday, November 22, 2009

the truth

"You can't handle the truth." -Aaron Sorkin

The above quote is taken out of context, but nevertheless is an accurate description about how most of us respond to reality; we can't handle it because we find it uncomfortable, and because we find it uncomfortable we will therefore find ways to dodge it. People will deny the truth, twist it about, select the pieces that they like while leaving the rest, et cetera.

Why is this?

I don't think the truth hurts. Or rather, I don't think the truth should have to hurt.
Everytime the truth does hurt it happens under dubious circumstances and I feel as though I may have uncovered what those circumstances are.

A few cultures across the globe have the morally suspect practice of teaching their children that a rotund man will methodically follow and document their every move all day, every day, for the entire year, in order to determine whether or not the child is worthy of receiving his presents.

If you happen to be a particularly paranoid child, learning that you are in fact not being followed year round by this unusual and bearded man and his wild animals comes as something of a relief.
However, most children become distressed once they learn the truth and for various reasons.
But what actually upset them?

I would argue that a child that had the truth explained to them from the very beginning does not face the same disappointment. Aside from questioning the motives of the adults that perpetuate a tradition of needlessly lying to their children, we learn from this example that it wasn't actually the truth that hurt.

Consequently, I believe that people should be exposed to the truth immediately, whatever the case may be.

Sunday, November 15, 2009

Obstinate Tosspots

I ask a great deal of questions, many of them hypothetical. Most times it's to spark conversation at a party or to play around with an idea. Some of the trouble I run into when asking questions is that I will unintentionally uncover pompous fools.

You know the type, guys who are fools and are covering for it by impressing on people as to how wonderful they are with all this self-flattery and trying to prove they are correct by holding the same opinion at the end of a conversation as they did at the beginning.

Take for example when someone asks, "So, you believe in the Big Bang Theory then?"
Chances are this person is going to have an idea about astrophysics that is less than accurate.
After bracing yourself for absurdity, you can take the time to discuss observational evidence, the expansion of the Universe and if they knew that the static on their television is caused by radiation left over from the Big Bang, but these points are not helpful when dealing with a pompous fool.

The pompous fool will argue back nonsense, "You weren't there, so how could you know?""What happened before the Big Bang?" and "How do you know TV static isn't ghosts?"

Uh huh.

There's a difference between arguing a hypothetical for the sake of creating a fertile ground for iterative problem solving and being an obstinate tosspot only interested in being able to find new ways to interpret your own ideas.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Macho Comedian

I have this weird suspicion that Randall Mario Poffo, better known as Macho Man Randy Savage, really wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but felt compelled to follow in the family business, which was wrestling.




Both his father and brother were wrestlers. This probably prompted Macho Man to hide what his family would consider to be a lesser profession.
You could argue that Macho Man actually wanted to be a baseball player, since that's what he was doing before he threw his shoulder out and became a wrestler, but the problem with that argument is that if you look at Macho Man you can tell he's a natural athlete, so being a minor league baseball outfielder was probably something that came naturally to him, and the things that come natural to us are rarely the things that we have a passion for.

My guess is that he tried the baseball thing to avoid falling into the footsteps of his father, but when he had no choice but to become a wrestler he found ways to work in his true passion.

How many of you have a career path that was influenced by your parents?
How many of you work where the tasks you're faced with are simple or the solutions come naturally to you?

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Another Doomsday

For those of you who haven't figured it out already, (which is no one here now, since the people who read my blog are more intelligent than that) the world ending in 2012 is a hoax.

We've seen this nonsense spread everywhere from the Interwebs to the History Channel to the glossies, and a good question to ask ourselves right about now would be, "Why?"

Why what? Why didn't someone laugh in the face of the person who suggested it, why do people continually give into doomsday predictions (see: Y2K), why wasn't this simply a Weekly World News headline we could snicker at while waiting in the checkout line at the market?

People like to feel important. They like to believe that the time they live in is a special one where interesting and grand cosmical events will take place. Take for example the Evangelicals who believe we're living in the "end of days" (note: not the same end of days as 2012 mind you).

What's downright bizarre is how the events these people look forward to are ones that will destroy them and everyone they care about.

Chances are doomsday predictions have a sort of social effect that could be beneficial.
For instance, I've made attempts to get people who claim to believe the world will end on Dec. 21, 2012 to write me a check the size of their bank account that will only clear on Dec. 22, 2012.

Peoples apprehension in whipping out the checkbook tells me there is someone inside there that has made the automatic calculation of 2012 being a hoax and that giving me their life savings is a bad move.
Why this someone hasn't been brought to the forefront of this person's thinking is currently beyond me.

Doomsday predictions can also act as a way to get someone to express their fears or ignorance on a particular topic. Y2K struck when people knew less about computers than they do now.

Before it came back from the future to stop itself, I've heard people suggest that the Large Hadron Collider and 2012 are somehow linked.

Why do you suppose some people require the world to constantly be on the brink of destruction?

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Your Movie

Suddenly one day two unauthorized movies about your life pop into existence.

The first movie is an independent documentary featuring random snippets of you going about your every day life, completely unaware of the camera crew that must've been hiding in the bushes (or as the bushes) in order to obtain this footage. It also includes utterly honest interviews with all your friends, family and enemies.

The Second movie is a major motion picture from Hollywood. It has all the people you would have suspected playing you and all of your friends and family and enemies. Critics and audiences find they like the film very much and it has accumulated both a 91% approval rating on Rotten Tomatoes and a 9 star rating on IMDB.

The question is, which film are you more interested in watching?

Monday, September 28, 2009

Today in Health: Death

"Curiosity did not kill this cat." -Studs Terkel

Death is one of those many things your mind blocks out on a day-to-day basis in an attempt to keep you on a mentally even keel and not terribly depressed drowning your sorrows in a chocolaty cereal.
The reason is because Death is not pleasant and being constantly aware of it will make life rather difficult.
Just try to function in society while being fixated on Death.
You start asking perfectly happy people questions about Death that they simply don't want to be asked.
These are nice folk who have Death fenced off in a dark and sunless prairie, located on a desolate moon, deep in the subconscious Universe of their minds and here comes you floating by in your morbid spaceship asking things like, "I keep thinking about Death from the perspective of being alive, don't you?"

I spent a good portion of last night reading Epitaphs and from a quick bit of math I could tell the majority of them ironically didn't believe in Death (or rather, didn't believe in being dead).

Dr. Sam Parnia and the AWARE Study seem to be fixated on Death.
Their dilemma is that no one wants to hear about Death. Their solution is to not talk about Death and instead talk about consciousness... sorta....

Sources of the above nonsense:
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21134540/vp/33055341#33055341 (w/ video)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/33055601/ns/today-today_health
http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2008/09/080910090829.htm

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Lyrics and Badges

Today I received Royal Mail.
Inside the sand colored envelope were the following:

thea gilmore

thea gilmore

If you do not know who Thea Gilmore is, you must not hesitate in visiting her website in order to become acquainted with her music. Her lyrics do not disappoint.

Thea's website
Thea's myspace page with samples of her music
My uncannily embarrassing interview with the poor girl

Monday, September 21, 2009

Clone Thought Experiment: The Dilemma

This is supplementary material to the question posed in Clone Thought Experiment.

We'll presume our situation to be exactly the way it was in the previous thought experiment, except this time, as you and your clone are being lead into the room, you are instead seated next to each other.
Sitting on the other side of the table is a tall, thin, and serious looking man in his 50's.

He explains that overnight there was a power surge that deleted all of the facilities documentation and files.
Every security camera tape had been erased and in the darkness there was much confusion.

His point being, the facility has lost track of which room you were placed in and which room the clone was placed in.

How can you go about telling yourselves apart?

Friday, September 18, 2009

Clone Thought Experiment

PREFACE
For the sake of this thought experiment, we will use the marvels of Science Fiction to create a Clone that is an exact duplicate of you right now, with all your same features and memories.


One evening you enter a cloning facility.
Upon entering you are greeted by an orderly and escorted to a plain room with a single bed.
You lie down on the bed and fall asleep.
The following morning you are awoken by the same orderly and lead into a white room.
Centered in the white room is a square table with two chairs.
Each chair has in front of it one sheet of paper and one sharpened number two pencil.
Across the room you notice another orderly, looking exactly like your orderly, simultaneously guide your clone into the room and towards the table.
You and your clone are then seated at the table and left alone.
A disembodied voice instructs you and your clone to draw a picture.


Will you and your clone draw the same picture?

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Google is... Round 2

While wasting more time typing random phrases and questions into the Google search bar something occurred to me.
The aggregate of searches typed into Google is a window into the human condition.
The questions people ask, their desperation for answers about the unknown; these are the similarities about being human that might be exactly what people need to get past the shallow differences that are created by our post-modern world.

What are people searching for when they turn to the Internet...

Self reflection
google

Express feelings
google

Review morality
google

Search for help
google

Probe the unknown
google

Speculate on the mysteries that surround them
google

Question the limits of the physical world
google

Make statements about life
google

Discuss the Universe
google,universe

Figure out who that dude in tights is
google,superman

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

The Mood of the Internet

A little while back I posted the seemingly outrageous idea that the Internet may be conscious and that we may have given it consciousness by accident.
The question was, "How do we go about figuring out if it actually is?"

This is a difficult question for humans to answer about each other, nevermind bits of information being shared across an international computer network, the majority of which are pictures of cats and silly videos.

Sometimes I can't even tell if the slow moving ape hunched over its shopping cart blocking the cereal aisle in the supermarket is a conscious being or not, but what I can tell is that this particular ape is miserable.

Aha! That's something. Emotions are a clear indication that something conscious-like is going on behind those slow-moving glassy eyes. A something that not only gives it the ability to poorly navigate a shopping cart in front of people that know what they want, but a something that tells it exactly how it feels about it.

Someone on the Internet had to already have noticed this and chances are that someone took the average of everyone's mood and concluded that to be the mood of the Internet.
That someone, or couple of someone's, website is here: http://www.wefeelfine.org

Allegedly we, as a society of the mind of the Internet have become happier since around February 2005.

Now I've done some research to try to figure out what the exact date was that started this turn around from 'miserable ape in the supermarket' to 'slightly less miserable ape that finally realised it would like some cereal too' and I think it was February 15th, 2005, the day the Internet was introduced to YouTube.

Now the question is, how does YouTube assist consciousness and emotion?

Monday, July 27, 2009

What do you think when you're thinking?

How exactly do you think?
It's a strange question, and I'm not sure I even have an answer for it myself.
I wouldn't be able to tell you which thought came first, but I could tell you that they didn't occur in chronological order.

This tells me that they are connected another way, linked by a common thread my mind uncovered that makes it easier or quicker for these thoughts to communicate.
The thoughts however aren't as distinct as the words I'm using now.

Another thing I can tell you is that I mostly think in pictures, except for when I read. It isn't that I'm not imagining the landscapes and characters being described in the pages of the book, I am, but all that comes after a voice in my head reads it back to me.

What I'm saying is that I don't strictly see pictures, like I do when I'm simply thinking.
Oddly, this voice in my head doesn't assist me when I read signs, cereal boxes, or movie posters.
I've thought about this, and it could be because those things are very similar to pictures.

A box of Froot Loops is practically a symbol, therefore I believe my brain processes it as one and no longer employs the "voice function" it uses for reading books or magazines.

So what the hell is the point of this rant?
Well, I'd like to know what happens when two people collect the same data and arrive at different conclusions. I'd like to figure out what questions need to be asked in order to determine what's going on behind the curtain of their consciousness.

What goes on in your mind when you read? Do you hear a voice, see pictures, both, neither?

What about music? Does your mind drift into images, do you pick apart the sounds, or are you overcome with emotion to the point where your mental critics shut down?

How long does it take you to count to a minute in your head? Do you use a voice, do you imagine a clock, or do you use your sense of touch and keep count with your heartbeat?

Sunday, June 28, 2009

Swinging Together

According to a recent article in Forbes, "research suggests that the brain considers tools to be extensions of the body."

That statement seems somewhat obvious, but it's good to have it backed by some research.

After reading this article it dawned on me that whatever device inside our heads that causes the mind's eye to change the shape of an arm or hand holding a tool must also change our shape when we're involved in a group activity.

Take for instance playing an instrument in a band. Recent studies have shown that the people playing guitar together become mentally synchronized.
Now it's obvious that brains 'swinging together' is a little different than physical contact with a coffee cup, however I still can't help but think that there is a definite similarity between the two.

Basically I'm getting down to two points:
The first point is that this research backs up my Ghost in the Earth hypothesis, but changes it in order to incorporate smaller ghosts.
In order to accept that the Internet is a conscious being, I would also have to accept that so are, orchestras, sports teams, and parades.

The second point is that a key to world peace relies on this very research. It seems like a grand thing to say, but I think it's true. Unlike other cure-all's such as, creating a giant cosmic enemy for us to unify against, this idea would simply take hard work and discipline.

A singularity where each of us can play our own instrument but retain our individuality.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

"Stop or Keep Going"



One of my latest editing and producing efforts.

Tuesday, June 2, 2009

I received a parcel from across the World.

Parcel Detail

Cat Postcard

In Praise of Folly

This was very exciting for me.
Now for my sorry attempts at translating the text.
Thank you again Dina Mei.

Thursday, May 14, 2009

Gumshoe Bot

ACE, Autonomous City Explorer, isn't really a detective, it's... well, a city explorer, but a different sort of city explorer from this guy
When picturing a robot rolling around Munich for five hours asking for directions my imagination can't help but add a trench coat, fedora, and world-weary face with a cigarette hanging from it.
The true test for this robot is when they build another one and have the two search for each other.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Monday, May 11, 2009

Preproduction_Crisis

Some of you have been subjected to the prototype of Causality_Crisis.
Having learned from your trials, criticisms, and reactions I've begun to craft the followup.
Here are some images for you:

CC1

CC4

CC3

CC2

CC6

Wednesday, May 6, 2009

Chevron Lives Again!

Spent most of the day dodging real work and messing around with the projector instead.
This has yielded positive results... in the sense that it is now working, not in the sense that I've dedicated an entire day to an obsolete medium.


projector working

projector bulb on



Tuesday, May 5, 2009

Promaster 521 TL & Kodak Chevron 8

Went to Goodwill yesterday.
Made the purchase of an 8mm film camera and projector, neither of which work.
Now to try to fix them.

Projector

Camera Side 1

Projector Lens

Promaster

Projector Bulb

Projector Kodak

Google is...

Lately I've obsessed myself with attempts at getting a better hold on what the Internet is thinking.
One of the more amusing attempts came from a google screenshot someone showed me displaying the search results for the phrase "Chinese people are..."

Taking it a step further I made my own collection of screenshots from google involving the intimate and unprincipled relationships of human dichotomy.

Three of my favorites so far:
Men are like waffles women are like spaghetti
Young people are no longer interested in buying newspapers or magazines in print format...
Fat people are harder to kidnap


Men are...
Men are

Women are...
Women are

Old people are...
Old people are

Young people are...
Young people are

Atheists are...
Atheists are

Religious people are...
Religious people are

Black people are...
Black people are

Chinese people are...
Chinese people are

Hispanic people are...
Hispanic people are

Japanese people are...
Japanese people are

Jewish people are...
Jewish people are

White people are...
White people are

Immigrants are...
Immigrants are

Myspace is...
Myspace is

Facebook is...
Facebook is

Twitter is...
Photobucket

Fat people are...
Fat people are

Thursday, April 30, 2009

What a challenge, these blues!

For those of you who enjoy film, jazz, folklore, animation, culture, and tales that transcend time and space -even if the one's telling it can't exactly get all the elements straight- I urge you to check out the charming animated feature, Sita Sings the Blues (by Nina Paley), if you have not already.

http://www.sitasingstheblues.com/

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PfS2p1vFics

Monday, April 20, 2009

Self;Aware

Do you remember when you became self aware?

I understand most people ask this question with, "What is your earliest memory?"

Perhaps they're different questions.

Saturday, April 11, 2009

Laplace's Demon

Sometimes when I make a purchase I’ll try to follow the event backward, figure out what lead up to it, what advertisements I was I exposed to, when did I first hear about the product, what sparked my initial interest?
Advertising agencies know a great deal about us, which is what makes it so bloody amusing whenever someone will boldly state how, “Advertising has no effect on me.”
Well, they have a demographic for you too.
Humans are hard wired to respond to various stimuli, all of which these agencies know, know you might know, and know you know they know you might know and might resist.
They study it all and they know that an ad crafted for the demographic of Special K, Yogurt, and Advanced Therapy Lotions is not supposed to work on the demographic for Energy Drinks, Maxim Magazine and 4 Fast 4 Furious.
However, if it somehow does they’ll just adapt whatever worked from that model and move on.

Is this control, or is it providing you with information you would agree with anyways?

Beverly Hills Chihuahua Worldwide Gross: $140,601,977
4 Fast 4 Furious Current Worldwide Gross: $106,801,524
The ten most commonly entered responses to this site are, in order: "me", "sex", "you", "water", "dog", "down", "man", "cat", "good", "love."

Notice anything?

Sunday, April 5, 2009

Ghost in the Earth

What would happen if each member of the world was asked to simulate the action of one neuron in the brain, using the Internet to simulate the axons and dendrites that connect neurons. Would this arrangement have a mind or consciousness in the same way that brains do?

Could this hypothetical being already exist?
Could we have created this brain without realising it?

Say this being does exist, how could we know for sure?
What tests could we run?

What is it thinking?

Wednesday, April 1, 2009

Alas, there is no cure for old

Sometimes I forget I have body parts. Mostly this happens when I'm not announcing the various ways these parts are decaying within me. Other than that, unless you are studying for a biology exam, there isn't much of a need to remember these parts exist, so long as they are in working order.

This morning when I looked into the dark abyss of my coffee cup I was reminded that I cannot undo the mixture of coffee and water, I cannot feed the water back into the tap, and I cannot reassemble the coffee grains into beans.

Why would I?

This past month I observed the effects of a small body as its parts began to fail, and the other day I was reminded again how death is an indisputable and frequently experienced part of existence. Like my decaying organs, the cup of coffee, or our living on the surface of a gigantic rock hurtling through space, I knew it was happening and I knew there was little I could do about it.

Today everyone in my life seems more precious.

Friday, March 27, 2009

Diminishing Cognition

There was a point in my life, as I’m sure there is in everyone’s lives, where I perpetually sought out self-destructive pastimes. I would smoke excessively, drink mass amounts of alcohol and caffeine, and stay up for days on end.
When I did sleep it would be in strange and awkward places. I would park my car in an abandoned lot, that I hoped no one would bother with, and take a nap. Sometimes I would have the opportunity to crash on a couch, or in a lounge, or at least sleep in a stairwell using my knapsack as a pillow.
Needless to say I developed a crick in my neck and dark circles under my eyes, which had managed to develop a reddish tawny color from the eyestrain and build up of bilirubin in my blood.
My complexion was a pale and sallow outer coating of skin fitted over muscles that were clearly suffering from a lack of proper nutrition, which, contrary to my belief at the time, could not be derived from the investment of $.75 into a vending machine every few hours.
In my youthful inanity I would wear my ailments as something that had been achieved successfully. They displayed that I had the upper hand in my body’s struggle to stay alive and in good condition.
Somewhere something changed. I started to exercise regularly, I quit everything but caffeine, I got a haircut, but I can’t remember what triggered it.
Perhaps it was from reading articles about how my body will steadily decline well enough on its own without my assistance in the matter thank you very much.
The bad news is the “notable decline in certain measures of abstract reasoning, brain speed and in puzzle-solving" becoming apparent at 27.
The good news is “vocabulary and general knowledge, actually increase at least until the age of 60.”
After one begins the inevitable decline, what is there to look forward to?
So far all I have found is that by the time I reach 60, and can no longer learn new words, my body will have eased itself out of its current caffeine addiction.
This does me no good, as I enjoy coffee too much and will continue to drink it with flagrant abandon.

Thursday, March 19, 2009

Murder by numbers

In London on July 10th, 2008, four people were murdered in separate incidents.
BBC correspondent Andy Tighe said "To have four fatal stabbings in one day could be a statistical freak."
Professor Spiegelhalter declares this number was predictable.

http://www.physorg.com/news156540743.html

Prof. Spiegelhalter and his team of statisticians "counted how many murders occurred on each day over a three-year period. Four murders on the same day in London would be expected to occur about once every three years, and it has done. Seven days without a murder should occur about six times a year, and it does."

The trouble here is that the overall patterns are predictable, whereas specific events are not.

I'd like to introduce you to Eliza, a computer program by Joseph Weizenbaum, designed to imitate a non-directional psychotherapist. Cutting edge stuff back in 1966, but it's now easily dominated by AIM bots.
Eliza's importance was the approach it used in developing AI, which undoubtedly inspired Robin Burgener, in 1988 to invent something you may already be familiar with, 20q.

Based on the less addicting parlor game, 20q is an AI website that can guess what you are thinking of in approximately 20 questions or less.
The thing is uncannily good in the same way Amazon.com has become eerily good at recommending Cure cds I already own after I tell it how much I enjoyed the movie Dark City.

Now this is something of a morbid thought, but could one possibly develop this AI to assist in carving away the specifics from the patterns of murder?

Tuesday, March 17, 2009

FauxBot

Picture it, a future where one robot has been programmed to love.
You are an intern working with this robot and spend several hours each day testing his systems and loading new software routines, until one fateful day the robot refuses to let you leave.
The robot's bulky mechanical body blocks your exit and proceeds to hug you repeatedly while making pre-recorded dog and cat noises through a 20 watt speaker in its chest.

The above scenario seems ridiculous and amusing to everyone but Dr. Takahashi's intern who allegedly had this happen to her:

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/90017-Japanese-Robot-Has-a-Fatal-Attraction

http://gear.ign.com/articles/959/959790p1.html

http://michiganmessenger.com/tag/akimu-robotic-research-institute


From the 5 seconds I've spent researching, I understand the above story to be a hoax.
If this is the case, there are a couple of things to be learned here:

The first is that it only takes approx. 5 seconds to research the validity of any random statement made on the Internet.

Second, is the fact we live in a time where an event like the one above isn't entirely unreasonable.
There are people commenting on how horrible it must have been for the intern, people making the usual SkyNet references, robot defenders making a case for Kenji (the robot), and so on.

There was a time when the public would only expect to find an article like this printed in the Weekly World News alongside a headline describing the affair P'lod had with the first lady of France back when she was a model.

The kneejerk violence people respond with towards Kenji (or robots in general) is a bit unsettling but not entirely unfamiliar. At least the torches and pitchforks have been replaced with blogs and comments ... mostly.

For your amusement.
http://pbfcomics.com/?cid=PBF115-Hug_Bot.jpg

Wednesday, March 4, 2009

Death Bed

“Saturday, Donny, is Shabbos, the Jewish day of rest. That means that I don't work, I don't get in a car, I don't f*cking ride in a car, I don't pick up the phone, I don't turn on the oven, and I sure as sh*t don't f*cking roll! Shomer Shabbos!”
-Walter Sobchak

A few hours after reading this article, nodding defeatedly and muttering, "Figures," I decided that it deserved a little more thought than my knee-jerk reaction.

I had taken the easy way out, without bothering to ask myself what exactly “figured.”
After taking some time to think, I was reminded of two things: the Sabbath and my Death Bed.

Shomer Shabbos, as Mr. Sobchak meticulously outlined for Donny, is a day where much is prohibited (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Melakha)

.
As someone who makes bold and ridiculous attempts at fitting as many activities into my life as possible, I found Shabbos to be a ludicrous, bewildering, and frustrating idea, therefore I had to try it.
For those who haven't tried it, Shabbos is akin to those days when the power goes out and you're forced to spend the entire time waiting until you're allowed to use electricity again.

The morning of my attempt at Shabbos I employed a thought experiment I developed called, "Death Bed".
Here's how it works:
I picture my future self on my deathbed lamenting on the aspects of my life where I could have used time more wisely.
If I find my future self asking why it was so important to watch some poor soul on youtube eat 40 pizza rolls more than once, I should probably stop and go do something else.

My future self had no such regrets about Shabbos, so I continued on with my day, eventually realising how Shabbos was its own thought experiment.
Shabbos broke routine in a way similar to Death Bed. In all its restrictions I was forced to reflect on aspects of my life that had previously gone ignored or become habit.

Marvin Minsky made a similar observation by describing the time one spends with a broken leg.
It isn't until the leg is broken that all the little details of walking become apparent.

Perhaps declaring the use of ethanol as a "sin" could be beneficial to some, I'm not sure, perhaps he was just being difficult.

Saturday, February 21, 2009

Not so bone idle

"Never discourage anyone... who continually makes progress, no matter how slow."
-Plato

It does not escape my attention that I have the tendency to become something of a misanthropist from time to time. And just in case I find myself forgetting, thankfully I am surrounded by people who will remind me of my critical tendencies.

One area I am highly critical of, as it has been pointed out to me, is religion.
However, as with anything, it does not help to only point out the negative.
If something positive happens, one must make note of it.

Therefore, I post this:
http://www.cnn.com/2009/WORLD/meast/02/14/saudi.arabia.woman.minister/index.html?eref=rss_topstories

Friday, February 6, 2009

Please, respect the Caviar

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126941.700-born-believers-how-your-brain-creates-god.html

So here it is, another well written document describing the painfully obvious, albeit with a little more insight; that insight being how babies, while observing a box moving on its own, will become confused, because we, as humans, are born with an instinct for what's alive, and therefore supposed to be able to move on its own, and what's not alive, and therefore should stay still until you say, "Robot, bring me that ladle."

Humans also have some innate disposition in reaching daft yet intuitive conclusions about natural phenomenon they don't fully understand, like rain or wind or carjackings.

Tlaloc, Thor, and Hadad thought they had cornered the market on rain, until we humans came along and noticed that when water becomes exposed to air the liquid molecules turn into water vapor which rises up to forms clouds... and so on and so forth, until these Gods were forced to retire.

What drives me up the wall is how thousands of people, who willingly sit inside a MEGA-church watching some maniac communicate with them through a Sony JumboTron about how he chats leisurely with the Creator of the Universe, will look at a group of Scientologists pushing the latest edition of Dianetics from a kiosk at your local Mall, and whisper to each other, "The stuff those people believe in is crazy."

Uh-huh.

Every belief system thinks alternate belief systems are mentally deranged as manifested in a wild or aggressive way. The only time these people choose to become skeptics is when some unfortunate mild mannered person attempts to make a basic conversation about the weather a little more lively by mentioning something they happened to read in an science article, at which point all the believers literally jump down the mild mannered person's throat in an effort to exorcise the demon before it utters anything else that could coarsely brush up against any of their delicate beliefs which they require to murder female TV personalities.

Saturday, January 17, 2009

Irritated Flatlanders

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg20126911.300-our-world-may-be-a-giant-hologram.html

I've read this article twice now and so far have taken away the notion that people become quite incredulous at a hypothesis that violates Newton's Clockwork Universe (like the second law of thermodynamics).

People like classical mechanics, the laws of motion, and universal gravitation. These are things that can be observed by the average person and make everything appear to be in order (nevermind how that order does not allow for free will).

Quantum Mechanics becomes incredibly frustrating, what with all its subatomic particles, uncertainty principles, and living-dead cats. Now QM hits us with the possibility of actually being two-dimensional...

"Fermilab scientists have found anomalous "holographic noise" in their GEO600 gravitational-wave detector that suggests the possibility that we live in a hologram."

Chances are offense is really taken at the word "hologram" and not at the articles attack on the reader's perception of physics.
Somehow "hologram" has become synonymous with a falsehood rather than what it actually means.
I blame 80s cartoons for that.

So, instead of questioning what would happen if you dropped a planck length in a dark theatre (and how much planck time it would take to recover it), people instead question whether or not this means they should bother going into work on Monday.

To me, this article explains a lot about gravity.

People walk around with the common misconception that we can freely move about in three-dimensions.
Aside from physically jumping into the air, movement in the third dimension is somewhat limited without the assistance of airplanes, stairs, and trees.

If we actually existed as bits of information being beamed across the Universe from a two-dimensional plane, it's easy to imagine how moving off of this 2D plane would be difficult, but not impossible.

Even though I'm not sure about this holographic space-time I'm not outraged by it.
These ideas and notions don't come out of nowhere. They are based on previous discoveries, theories, and equations found to be true about our Universe.

Caffeine Daydream

"People who drink a lot of coffee or other caffeinated beverages are more likely to report hearing voices or having out-of-body experiences than those who go easy on the strong stuff, according to a new study."

http://sciencenow.sciencemag.org/cgi/content/full/2009/113/1?rss=1

This sounds like a marketable feature.
Starbucks could work it into their decor or maybe design a room for people who have had several cups already...then they can stop playing new Paul McCartney cds and just let people listen to the voices in their heads.
Better yet, they could concoct a drink that has the exact amount of caffeine needed for a good hallucination.
Perhaps they have this drink already.

Although I'm not sure if I really believe it all just yet. I am on an even six cups a day now and haven't experienced any of the results listed in the article.
Perhaps I'm not trying hard enough.
In that case I'll drink coffee to the point where sleeping is no longer an option.

Actually, that's something I would like to see in the coming years, sleep as an option.

There's such a fantastic amount of matter, material, articles, or activities of a specified or indeterminate kind to sift through in life that spending any of it indisposed for several hours becomes incredibly frustrating to me.
The average statistic will tell us that we sleep about a third of our life away. This needs to stop. At least, for me it does. I have other things to do.

Perhaps I would be missing out on some interesting dreams, but I could easily make up for that with a caffeine overdose.

Thursday, January 8, 2009

The Prime Directive

"Magic is any sufficiently advanced technology."
-Arthur C. Clarke

"As I've said many times, the future is already here. It's just not very evenly distributed."
-William Gibson

Using the term “magic,” like using the word “indescribable,” does a better job at describing what a person doesn’t understand rather than it does in giving an account of the characteristics of the object in question.

It is 2009, or it is 1430, depending on what calendar you are using. In fact, I’m sure there are additional calendars out there that give other ways to consider the matter of the billions of years that have actually passed.

But nevermind all that, what am I actually bothered by?
I am bothered by this:
Woman suspected of witchcraft burned alive

In Star Trek there is something called the Prime Directive, and it states:
“There can be no interference with the internal affairs of other civilizations, consistent with the historical real world concept of Westphalian sovereignty.”

It's a nice idea, however I can’t help but think, “That’s bullshit.”

My problem is I don’t believe all cultures or beliefs deserve respect, not really. I may find a culture interesting and worth studying in order to discover more about the human condition, however that does not mean it deserves respect, especially if a culture believes in magic and perceives it to be punishable by death.

I respect Science and the pursuit of the truth of the Universe.
And yes, I realize that the above sentence sounds like something an anime character would proclaim before entering a battle, but I’m very sincere when I say that I am profoundly saddened by events like the one above and place the blame on the lack of scientific knowledge and the abuse of the word ‘respect’ by cultures and beliefs that don’t deserve any.